Gosh darn mother effers!!!

Now that I got that out of my system...
So, I am returning my current car rental today and getting a new one that is cheaper per month. The people at the car hire company have always been nice and helpful. But they had some bad news to share this morning.
"Yes, madam, you have a AED650 ($176USD) speeding ticket, a AED150 parking ticket ($40USD), and AED75 ($20USD) for Salik tolls. May we put this on your credit card?"
"WHAAAAAAAATTTT?!?!?!"
Now, a word about traffic rules here. It is what the government says it is. That's how they roll. This isn't a democracy. Speed signs are in strange places and sometimes they aren't there at all. The cops don't pull you over here. They in fact are never to be seen unless someone is lying dead on the highway. Does this matter? No.
Soooo...how do they catch you? Simple. Speed cameras and radar. And they don't notify you until you a) go to renew your annual registration or b) return your car hire. You can find these things out online by going to the website and plunking in your license plate number. But you won't get a ticket. You won't get pulled over. Not even a text from the municipality.
Hence, you get slammed.
If I cared to, I could check when and where all of this happened. The thing is...it wouldn't matter. There is a traffic court here, but it is pretty much useless and in the end the expat ends up paying it anyway with the additional court fees. This had already happened to a friend of mine earlier this year, and they tried to argue it. Useless. They had to pay anyway.
Might have I been speeding at some point? Possibly, given that the signage here is horrible and I never know what speed I actually should be going. The parking ticket? Nope, got no idea on that one being that I park at school, at the mall, and at the supermarket. Possible? Yes, again we're back to horrible signage. Do they care? No. It is whatever the government says it is. If they say it's a dog, even though there is the possibility it might be a duck, it's a dog.
Plain and simple.
Was I mad at first?
Yes, gosh darn mother effers!
But I have accepted that the only thing I can do it pay it and move on.
Slightly more appreciative of my rights back home and our police.
Moving on.