I'm reminded of Samwise Gamgee when he returned home after seeing Frodo and Gandalf off at the end of the Lord of the Rings.
"Well, I'm home."
Some things had changed. Mostly, things at home had stayed the same. But he had changed forever.
Yeah, it's kind of like that.
Leaving was ridiculous. I've never been that stressed out in my life. Selling everything in my apartment, while packing and continuously re-packing my suitcases and paring down my belongings and simultaneously giving final assessments, packing my classroom, and preparing my files for the next teacher. Taking care of my final bills, closing my bank account, and prepping the apartment for handover. All the while, fears and paranoia my constant companions. Fear of losing part of my gratuity because the facility manager hadn't done something. Fear of not being able to cash my check, not being able to transfer the money at the transfer office, of being stopped at the airport and forbidden to leave because I was missing an important document or something.
I had pushed off the goodbyes and tears until the last minute and had informed my students I was leaving, but it wasn't real until the last day of school. And then the tears just started flowing and wouldn't stop. I wasn't prepared for the cry of sadness that went across the auditorium when I stood with the other departing teachers and our leaving was announced. One of my students was so distraught that she had to be taken off the floor. I wasn't prepared for that, when she hugged me and looked up with her little tear filled eyes just so sad. And then they all started coming up and hugging me and saying goodbye, just these ocean of little sad faces. Man, I was a mess. I took a moment to flee the building and drive back to the hotel to get something. Saying goodbye to my friends was just as hard. We'd become a family, a support group, and close knit team. Virtually everyone I came to Dubai with was departing with me to different ends of the earth, save three people who will continue on in Dubai for awhile. They each took a little piece of my heart with them.
I felt like an alien for my first two weeks home. The first couple of days were rough. It felt like someone had switched the lenses in my glasses, everything was fuzzy. It also felt like it was in hypercolor; I was so used to a brown landscape and all of sudden my field of vision was filled with color like Dorothy going from Kansas to Oz. Hearing everyone speak English in American accents just seemed to flood my ears. Eventually, as I hung out with friends doing the usual things like gaming, movies, and tubing, I began to feel more acclimated. It's going to take awhile, though. There are things I miss about being overseas, but I don't regret coming home. It was time.
Since I have been home, I've been searching high and low for a job teaching. I had known that Philly had laid off tons of teaching staff, but I hadn't know that the Archdiocese had done the same. Along with the tons of new teachers that graduate every May from the local universities, this area is saturated with teachers looking for work. I have had over six interviews, for which I am very grateful. To this date, I have accepted a part time position teaching ESL at one school and also signed up with a substituting agency. I am still interviewing, with the hope that a full time position will become available. Until then, I am very thankful for what I have available. The part time position is at a very nice school although the pay is rock bottom. The staff have been lovely; I really hope that position turns into a more lucrative opportunity. Until then, my theme song is "So I apply, so I apply, so I apply!"
I've never been without a job. It's scary and frustrating. I've been very depressed these last two weeks. It weighs heavy on my shoulders this feeling of shiftlessness. None of the positions I have interviewed for offer any kind of benefits. One of them doesn't even take taxes out. Still in this economy with the shortage of teaching positions and overabundance of teachers I am lucky to have found what I did. I am thinking of applying to other states next May, and I don't rule out the possibility of going overseas again though I recoil a bit at the thought of more airports and planes. Still, I am sure that I did the right thing because of the quality time I have been able to spend with friends and family. I've gotten to hang out with my little niece and see my older niece as well as my aunt and cousins. So I trundle along, applying and seeking out opportunity.
If opportunity comes a-knockin', she'd better be holding a steady paycheck, benefits, and a beer.
A Delicate Desert Flower
Friday, August 16, 2013
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Shake it shake it SHAKE IT!
As my time winds down here in Dubai, I'm trying to squeeze in some last minute experiences. Brunch at the Al Qasr, a trip to the Al Nayhan mosque in Abu Dhabi, and some another yacht cruise with friends. An earthquake was not an experience that I was hoping to have before I left.
We didn't feel last week's tremors that radiated from Iran. Some people in the outer parts of Dubai did, but not much. So I wasn't looking for anything exciting. Today had been a busy day. I was sitting reading my email, listening to the high school girls next door chatting away and my friend drag her class through their tasks. Suddenly, the door next to me leading to the next classroom began to shake. At first I thought it was the high school girls being cheeky. And then I heard their confused yips as the room began to shake.
I've never felt anything like it. The door rattled like a poltergeist was shaking it. The walls shook. The floor rumbled as if a huge truck were driving through our classroom. My chair trembled as if someone were shaking it roughly to wake me up. I was awake alright! The lights flickered, and the students looked around wildly.
After about 8 seconds, it stopped. We all just kind of looked at each other "Did that just happen?!"
"Was that an earthquake?"
You read about it in the news. Friends tell you about their experiences. And then it happens to you. Nope, there's no preparing for that. Honest to God, I am still shaking a bit inside. I checked the news; within minutes it was all over the UAE news sites saying that the quake had originated on the Iran/ Pakistan border with every number from 7.5 to 8.0. Iran already has a death toll and it's climbing. Friends of friends are reporting all over that their buildings were evacuated. Someone swears she saw the Burj Khalifa sway back and forth. Not sure about that, but I'm still swaying a bit that's for sure!
https://www.facebook.com/elena.holmes.33/posts/10200866232315628?comment_id=6191980&offset=0&total_comments=7¬if_t=feed_comment
Now that I've had this experience, and I'll admit that I've been curious about earthquakes, I can freely say under no circumstances do I need this experience repeated. I'm good, thanks!
We didn't feel last week's tremors that radiated from Iran. Some people in the outer parts of Dubai did, but not much. So I wasn't looking for anything exciting. Today had been a busy day. I was sitting reading my email, listening to the high school girls next door chatting away and my friend drag her class through their tasks. Suddenly, the door next to me leading to the next classroom began to shake. At first I thought it was the high school girls being cheeky. And then I heard their confused yips as the room began to shake.
I've never felt anything like it. The door rattled like a poltergeist was shaking it. The walls shook. The floor rumbled as if a huge truck were driving through our classroom. My chair trembled as if someone were shaking it roughly to wake me up. I was awake alright! The lights flickered, and the students looked around wildly.
After about 8 seconds, it stopped. We all just kind of looked at each other "Did that just happen?!"
"Was that an earthquake?"
You read about it in the news. Friends tell you about their experiences. And then it happens to you. Nope, there's no preparing for that. Honest to God, I am still shaking a bit inside. I checked the news; within minutes it was all over the UAE news sites saying that the quake had originated on the Iran/ Pakistan border with every number from 7.5 to 8.0. Iran already has a death toll and it's climbing. Friends of friends are reporting all over that their buildings were evacuated. Someone swears she saw the Burj Khalifa sway back and forth. Not sure about that, but I'm still swaying a bit that's for sure!
https://www.facebook.com/elena.holmes.33/posts/10200866232315628?comment_id=6191980&offset=0&total_comments=7¬if_t=feed_comment
Now that I've had this experience, and I'll admit that I've been curious about earthquakes, I can freely say under no circumstances do I need this experience repeated. I'm good, thanks!
Friday, February 15, 2013
The Road Goes Ever Ever On
Ever since my feet touched Dubai's hot sand this past August, I've felt that I had a decision to make this year. Granted, I've been in that position before, but this time I rather felt it in my heart of hearts if you will. There just seemed to be little hints everywhere. Changes in staff dynamics and school policies, friends deciding to move on, and personal events at home all played a part in the decision. Just lots of little things.
Well, some not so little. Some were rather depressing, disheartening, and downright outrageous. No, I shall not go into detail because it's personal or I'll just get all wound up all over again. But also things that didn't get to me before were starting to bother me. Children riding in front seats in laps with no seat belt or car seat (common with locals here), inequity of consequences for crimes (a local man guilty of manslaughter gets three months while a couple caught kissing in public gets jailed for a year?!), the heat, the crazy driving, the rundown neighborhood the teachers are housed in, the money making schemes of a for-profit school, the frustration of any kind of contact with the infrastructure, the inability to queue for just about anything, having to have a license to buy alcohol, not having freedom of speech (you don't realize how much you treasure it until you don't have it!) just to name a few. No, those things didn't bother me before. They're just a part of living in Dubai. Nothing can be done about it. It's just the way it is. And then I realized I'm done. That doesn't work for me anymore.
http://travel.aol.co.uk/2013/01/25/couple-caught-kissing-on-dubai-beach-jailed-for-a-year/
It was my trip home at Christmas that really helped me make the decision. I stood in the kitchen looking out the window on Christmas Day morning looking out at the snow as I sipped my coffee. Homestar was rubbing against my legs. Christmas Eve had been spent eating cookies, watching Christmas movies, and tracking Santa with my niece on NORAD's website. I was thinking about how much she had grown. She's going to be in fourh grade next year. It occurred to me that aunts cease being cool once they become teenagers. Taller, smarter, and much more a part of the world around her. My other niece, well, she didn't really remember me all that much. Not even from the summer. And that bothered me. A lot. More than I thought it would. A cardinal landed on the snowy bush outside the kitchen window, as if waiting to have his picture taken for a Christmas card. I thought of how lovely the backyard would look in autumn, that golden brown back-to-school time of year when the leaves are falling and my friends are all gearing up for Halloween. I wanted that. Fall. Crisp breezes, carved pumpkins, and that lovely smell of damp decay as the leaves decompose on the ground to feed the soil. I figured then and there that I was ready to come home though for a couple of weeks I did entertain other ideas. But when it came time to handing in my letter of intent, my sure intent was set on home.
I'll admit, I've gotten some crazy looks from my teacher friends when I tell them that I'm going home. "Don't you want another contract?! Don't you want to travel more? Isn't this what you want out of life?" No, yes, and no. For some people, yes, country hopping is a career. I've enjoyed my time in Dubai, loved traveling. But I've grown tired of planes and packing and weary of airports. For right now, I can't think of any other place I'd rather live than home. Don't get me wrong. That might change. Going abroad is an option and if I don't find a solid job at home I will be looking for another international contract at the end of next year. For now, my feet are leading me home.
You know what's funny? Some teachers have actually been rather envious that I'm going home. I am rather lucky, being single with no children. I've got a lot of options. Some people are kind of stuck here because their spouses have good jobs here and the jobs at home are sketchy. It's hard to move around if you've got a family with children. I have a feeling more teachers would go home if they could, but their situations are complicated. I'm fortunate and I'm thankful for that. Some of the staff and parents have been kind enough to let me know I'll be missed. The best statement came from one of my Arabic staff friends. She said "WHO SAID YOU CAN LEAVE?! I KEEL YOU!" That's love.
And so now I sit in limbo. Not many jobs are posted in the Phildelphia area yet and won't be until April or later. My PA application is updated. I am also open to positions in other states on the East Coast. Heck, even the West Coast is closer to home than Dubai. I've heard good things about Portland and Seattle. I can't sell any furniture yet except for the odd shelf. I have arranged for Sonar's flight home in early April. I figure once she flies out I will start the dismantling process. Does anyone else get a mental picture of this cat showing up at the airport with a suitcase and little passport?
I will miss my friends here. I have worked with a very gifted and dedicated staff. My students for the most part are wonderful. I have made some very good friends in Dubai that I have enjoyed spending time with. Thank God for Facebook so I can still keep up with everyone even after I leave. I hope to visit friends abroad still. I have friends all over the globe now. And as I've said, I'm not done traveling. I just want to be able to go home when I'm done :)
So in a couple of months, I will start to slowly let my life in Dubai go. May and June are going to be busy as I get rid of my things, apply to jobs, and hopefully score some interviews. I am looking forward to spending time with my family and reconnecting with my friends in the US. And being a nerd again. Like I ever stopped, but one kind of has to go Nerd Incognito in Dubai as they are few and far between here. One has those moments when one says something like "Ha! You rolled a one on your Charisma there!" and the Mundanes just kind of...stare. Or perhaps one makes it known that she has read "The Hitchikers Guide to the Universe" and someone asks if it's a new romance novel. Wicked Faire, Faerie Con, Steampunk World Faire, Pennsic, miscellaneous other nerdfests...sigh...hopefully I'll make it to some events to nerd out with my buddies.
Now to ponder, organize, and sketch out as much of my exit strategy as I can for now.
The road goes ever ever on...
Well, some not so little. Some were rather depressing, disheartening, and downright outrageous. No, I shall not go into detail because it's personal or I'll just get all wound up all over again. But also things that didn't get to me before were starting to bother me. Children riding in front seats in laps with no seat belt or car seat (common with locals here), inequity of consequences for crimes (a local man guilty of manslaughter gets three months while a couple caught kissing in public gets jailed for a year?!), the heat, the crazy driving, the rundown neighborhood the teachers are housed in, the money making schemes of a for-profit school, the frustration of any kind of contact with the infrastructure, the inability to queue for just about anything, having to have a license to buy alcohol, not having freedom of speech (you don't realize how much you treasure it until you don't have it!) just to name a few. No, those things didn't bother me before. They're just a part of living in Dubai. Nothing can be done about it. It's just the way it is. And then I realized I'm done. That doesn't work for me anymore.
http://travel.aol.co.uk/2013/01/25/couple-caught-kissing-on-dubai-beach-jailed-for-a-year/
It was my trip home at Christmas that really helped me make the decision. I stood in the kitchen looking out the window on Christmas Day morning looking out at the snow as I sipped my coffee. Homestar was rubbing against my legs. Christmas Eve had been spent eating cookies, watching Christmas movies, and tracking Santa with my niece on NORAD's website. I was thinking about how much she had grown. She's going to be in fourh grade next year. It occurred to me that aunts cease being cool once they become teenagers. Taller, smarter, and much more a part of the world around her. My other niece, well, she didn't really remember me all that much. Not even from the summer. And that bothered me. A lot. More than I thought it would. A cardinal landed on the snowy bush outside the kitchen window, as if waiting to have his picture taken for a Christmas card. I thought of how lovely the backyard would look in autumn, that golden brown back-to-school time of year when the leaves are falling and my friends are all gearing up for Halloween. I wanted that. Fall. Crisp breezes, carved pumpkins, and that lovely smell of damp decay as the leaves decompose on the ground to feed the soil. I figured then and there that I was ready to come home though for a couple of weeks I did entertain other ideas. But when it came time to handing in my letter of intent, my sure intent was set on home.
I'll admit, I've gotten some crazy looks from my teacher friends when I tell them that I'm going home. "Don't you want another contract?! Don't you want to travel more? Isn't this what you want out of life?" No, yes, and no. For some people, yes, country hopping is a career. I've enjoyed my time in Dubai, loved traveling. But I've grown tired of planes and packing and weary of airports. For right now, I can't think of any other place I'd rather live than home. Don't get me wrong. That might change. Going abroad is an option and if I don't find a solid job at home I will be looking for another international contract at the end of next year. For now, my feet are leading me home.
You know what's funny? Some teachers have actually been rather envious that I'm going home. I am rather lucky, being single with no children. I've got a lot of options. Some people are kind of stuck here because their spouses have good jobs here and the jobs at home are sketchy. It's hard to move around if you've got a family with children. I have a feeling more teachers would go home if they could, but their situations are complicated. I'm fortunate and I'm thankful for that. Some of the staff and parents have been kind enough to let me know I'll be missed. The best statement came from one of my Arabic staff friends. She said "WHO SAID YOU CAN LEAVE?! I KEEL YOU!" That's love.
And so now I sit in limbo. Not many jobs are posted in the Phildelphia area yet and won't be until April or later. My PA application is updated. I am also open to positions in other states on the East Coast. Heck, even the West Coast is closer to home than Dubai. I've heard good things about Portland and Seattle. I can't sell any furniture yet except for the odd shelf. I have arranged for Sonar's flight home in early April. I figure once she flies out I will start the dismantling process. Does anyone else get a mental picture of this cat showing up at the airport with a suitcase and little passport?
I will miss my friends here. I have worked with a very gifted and dedicated staff. My students for the most part are wonderful. I have made some very good friends in Dubai that I have enjoyed spending time with. Thank God for Facebook so I can still keep up with everyone even after I leave. I hope to visit friends abroad still. I have friends all over the globe now. And as I've said, I'm not done traveling. I just want to be able to go home when I'm done :)
So in a couple of months, I will start to slowly let my life in Dubai go. May and June are going to be busy as I get rid of my things, apply to jobs, and hopefully score some interviews. I am looking forward to spending time with my family and reconnecting with my friends in the US. And being a nerd again. Like I ever stopped, but one kind of has to go Nerd Incognito in Dubai as they are few and far between here. One has those moments when one says something like "Ha! You rolled a one on your Charisma there!" and the Mundanes just kind of...stare. Or perhaps one makes it known that she has read "The Hitchikers Guide to the Universe" and someone asks if it's a new romance novel. Wicked Faire, Faerie Con, Steampunk World Faire, Pennsic, miscellaneous other nerdfests...sigh...hopefully I'll make it to some events to nerd out with my buddies.
Now to ponder, organize, and sketch out as much of my exit strategy as I can for now.
The road goes ever ever on...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)