The Road Goes Ever Ever On

Ever since my feet touched Dubai's hot sand this past August, I've felt that I had a decision to make this year. Granted, I've been in that position before, but this time I rather felt it in my heart of hearts if you will. There just seemed to be little hints everywhere. Changes in staff dynamics and school policies, friends deciding to move on, and personal events at home all played a part in the decision. Just lots of little things.

Well, some not so little. Some were rather depressing, disheartening, and downright outrageous. No, I shall not go into detail because it's personal or I'll just get all wound up all over again. But also things that didn't get to me before were starting to bother me. Children riding in front seats in laps with no seat belt or car seat (common with locals here), inequity of consequences for crimes (a local man guilty of manslaughter gets three months while a couple caught kissing in public gets jailed for a year?!), the heat, the crazy driving, the rundown neighborhood the teachers are housed in, the money making schemes of a for-profit school, the frustration of any kind of contact with the infrastructure, the inability to queue for just about anything, having to have a license to buy alcohol, not having freedom of speech (you don't realize how much you treasure it until you don't have it!) just to name a few. No, those things didn't bother me before. They're just a part of living in Dubai. Nothing can be done about it. It's just the way it is. And then I realized I'm done. That doesn't work for me anymore.

http://travel.aol.co.uk/2013/01/25/couple-caught-kissing-on-dubai-beach-jailed-for-a-year/

It was my trip home at Christmas that really helped me make the decision. I stood in the kitchen looking out the window on Christmas Day morning looking out at the snow as I sipped my coffee. Homestar was rubbing against my legs. Christmas Eve had been spent eating cookies, watching Christmas movies, and tracking Santa with my niece on NORAD's website. I was thinking about how much she had grown. She's going to be in fourh grade next year. It occurred to me that aunts cease being cool once they become teenagers. Taller, smarter, and much more a part of the world around her. My other niece, well, she didn't really remember me all that much. Not even from the summer. And that bothered me. A lot. More than I thought it would. A cardinal landed on the snowy bush outside the kitchen window, as if waiting to have his picture taken for a Christmas card. I thought of how lovely the backyard would look in autumn, that golden brown back-to-school time of year when the leaves are falling and my friends are all gearing up for Halloween. I wanted that. Fall. Crisp breezes, carved pumpkins, and that lovely smell of damp decay as the leaves decompose on the ground to feed the soil. I figured then and there that I was ready to come home though for a couple of weeks I did entertain other ideas. But when it came time to handing in my letter of intent, my sure intent was set on home.

I'll admit, I've gotten some crazy looks from my teacher friends when I tell them that I'm going home. "Don't you want another contract?! Don't you want to travel more? Isn't this what you want out of life?" No, yes, and no. For some people, yes, country hopping is a career. I've enjoyed my time in Dubai, loved traveling. But I've grown tired of planes and packing and weary of airports. For right now, I can't think of any other place I'd rather live than home. Don't get me wrong. That might change. Going abroad is an option and if I don't find a solid job at home I will be looking for another international contract at the end of next year. For now, my feet are leading me home.

You know what's funny? Some teachers have actually been rather envious that I'm going home. I am rather lucky, being single with no children. I've got a lot of options. Some people are kind of stuck here because their spouses have good jobs here and the jobs at home are sketchy. It's hard to move around if you've got a family with children. I have a feeling more teachers would go home if they could, but their situations are complicated. I'm fortunate and I'm thankful for that. Some of the staff and parents have been kind enough to let me know I'll be missed. The best statement came from one of my Arabic staff friends. She said "WHO SAID YOU CAN LEAVE?! I KEEL YOU!" That's love.

And so now I sit in limbo. Not many jobs are posted in the Phildelphia area yet and won't be until April or later. My PA application is updated. I am also open to positions in other states on the East Coast. Heck, even the West Coast is closer to home than Dubai. I've heard good things about Portland and Seattle. I can't sell any furniture yet except for the odd shelf. I have arranged for Sonar's flight home in early April. I figure once she flies out I will start the dismantling process. Does anyone else get a mental picture of this cat showing up at the airport with a suitcase and little passport?

I will miss my friends here. I have worked with a very gifted and dedicated staff. My students for the most part are wonderful. I have made some very good friends in Dubai that I have enjoyed spending time with. Thank God for Facebook so I can still keep up with everyone even after I leave. I hope to visit friends abroad still. I have friends all over the globe now. And as I've said, I'm not done traveling. I just want to be able to go home when I'm done :)

So in a couple of months, I will start to slowly let my life in Dubai go. May and June are going to be busy as I get rid of my things, apply to jobs, and hopefully score some interviews. I am looking forward to spending time with my family and reconnecting with my friends in the US. And being a nerd again. Like I ever stopped, but one kind of has to go Nerd Incognito in Dubai as they are few and far between here. One has those moments when one says something like "Ha! You rolled a one on your Charisma there!" and the Mundanes just kind of...stare. Or perhaps one makes it known that she has read "The Hitchikers Guide to the Universe" and someone asks if it's a new romance novel. Wicked Faire, Faerie Con, Steampunk World Faire, Pennsic, miscellaneous other nerdfests...sigh...hopefully I'll make it to some events to nerd out with my buddies.

Now to ponder, organize, and sketch out as much of my exit strategy as I can for now.

The road goes ever ever on...