Eat, Pray, Love

Eat, Pray, Love came out here tonight. A bunch of us went out to dinner and to see it at the theater over at one of the numerous malls here in Dubai. They really are like destinations in and of themselves, really. They have everything from theaters, to ice skating rinks, to indoor ski resorts. But I digress...

I haven't read the book. I usually like to read the book first so I can get the real story before I go see the movie. The book almost always turns out to be better than the movie. The movie was fascinating, stirring, and spiritual in a way that makes me want to run out and buy the book right now if it means I can have more of what I experienced during the movie.

There were some really good quotes that I have taken away with me. "Send him love and light when you can, and then drop it." There have been loves in my life that for one reason or another I have not been able to keep. It really sucks when you wake up one morning and realize that the love you have isn't the love that you need. It is harder still to tell that other person that although you love them, that you are not the one they need no matter how much you tried to be. People go through their lives miserable with the person they think they need to be with, happy in the idea that they are sticking it out. It's ridiculously hard and painful letting go, forgiving yourself for trying so long only to have to let go. But it happens. So you remember what you had, send them love and light when you can, and then drop it.

I saw myself in Eat, Pray, Love. That's me. The woman who woke up one day and realized that the life she was living was merely an existence, not a life. A woman who had gotten so far from herself that she didn't remember nor recognize who she was. I couldn't remember what I looked like on the inside. It had been so long since I looked in there, only to find it empty. Granted, I love my family and my friends so much. I am very grateful for everyone I know. I just wasn't grateful for me. I didn't know me anymore. It took awhile, but I eventually remembered what I had dreamed about doing, and remembered how to live. Rather, I am still learning how to live.

So what do you do when that happens? Well, some run to Italy to eat and enjoy life, find their spirit in India, and find romance in Bali. Others come to Dubai. And adopt an abandoned kitten. And run around with the most smashing, fabulous, well-travelled, strong willed women that I have ever had the privilege to meet. I remember reading somewhere that when one travels, they find themselves. That when you are away from everything familiar and comforting, that you become who you truly are. I do believe that there is a lot of truth in that. Humans shine their brightest when they are facing great odds. Living out here with so much that is unfamiliar, I feel like only now am I really getting to know myself.

Now, will I find the romance at the end? I prefer not to think about that, really. One of the points in the movie was that after finding balance, one must allow oneself to love again. That's the hard part, isn't it? Some days I believe in love, others I don't. It's easier to believe in someone else's love. Looking from the outside, one can see the beauty of the relationship between two people who are in love. It's a bit harder believing that I can have that and still remain myself considering how lost I became before. How many people run from person to person hoping to find who they really are? Maybe the lucky ones find themselves and love. Don't know. I'm brilliant, but I'm not that smart.

So I'm having a moment. I'm allowed every now and then. So I saw a great movie that I really made a personal connection to. Love Julia Roberts, the woman is phenomenal. The locations were stunning and the story was fantastic. I highly recommend it for a girls' night out. And perhaps a yearlong trek through Italy, India, and Bali as well.

Good night.